For Everything There Is a Season

Well I'm fairly behind on my blog posts but I still intend to sit down and catch up.
Once we got onto the official part of the trip our days were full on, and even though there was spare time at the end of each day, the energy to write wasn't there, instead we took some time to wind down before bed.

In regards to funeral planning, of course while we were away things continued to move along, especially as Pastor Grant was with us, so one morning we got together and discussed how the service might go. Its a bit surreal really, we were half way across the world, planning a funeral in person that would be happening in NZ - however this is the situation we were in, and it worked out quite well.

Joanne (Christines sister) was at home, so she carried on with starting some arrangements also, however once we got home there was still a bit to organise.
(Its hard to imagine trying to do all the funeral arrangements in just a few days as is often the case!)

Once we got home, not much happened on the afternoon/evening - we worked to put away as much as possible from our suitcases, and all the dirty clothes went to the Laundry to be washed over the next few days.

We visited Grandma at the funeral home regularly over the next few days. It was a bit difficult, but also I felt quite aware that this body wasn't her anymore. She had left it behind and was in heaven. There was one day we were there, and someone had visited her an hour or so before we showed up. It was strange touching her skin that we'd now been accustomed to being cold and reasonably firm, but now was less cold, and a little softer. Still nothing like 'normal' but softer nevertheless.

Over the next few days we sorted out final arrangements;

• Songs to sing
• Order of service
• Catering for afterwards
• Those who were speaking, what they would say (a lot of thought and effort went into that!)
• A photo tribute (this was my responsibility)

As we went through things, I realised I've not been to a 'christian' funeral up here in Auckland, only down in the Wairarapa when I was going to the Reformed Congregations of NZ in Carterton. I was wondering how that was gonna go, and what it would be like. I worried about what my family/father down in the Wairarapa would think, however I didn't get any negative feedback - shows that there isn't any need to worry, things will work out one was or another.

The day of the funeral arrived, it was at 11am. We arrived around 10am, and helped sort any last minute things that needed to be done. The funeral service itself went for about 1hr 15mins

Around 1pm we went to Oratia Cemetery for the burial. It was 30-40 min drive to get there from church. It took a little while to get everyone to arrive that we were expecting, and then we carried the coffin to the grave.

The grave was dug by hand and to size, and instead of some kind of pulley system to lower the coffin into the grave we had straps and slowly let the coffin down using straps.

Afterwards there was the option if people wanted to they could drop some petals into the grave, and then after that there were shovels so if you wanted to you could put some dirt onto the coffin. Initially no-one did any shovelling, but eventually Brooklyn and Nathan gave it a go, and then a few of us joined in. It was quite a unique experience.

Leaving the cemetery was fairly odd, quite final I guess, because after this there was no more opportunity to go see her, or do anything. It was very odd to think about.

People had travelled from around NZ to be at the funeral - I really appreciated that my brother and 3 of my sisters made the effort to come up. It was a really long day for them!

Christines brother and family also came over from Aussie for the funeral.

I had the next few days off work (we get minimum 3 days bereavement leave here in New Zealand). These days were quickly used up, and then it was back to work

Its now almost been 5 weeks since the funeral service, and just over 8 weeks since she passed away. It feels like a long time in some ways, but also not long ago in others. Some days go fine, others are a bit harder. For example, the other week in church I was teary eyed for the whole service - there wasn't really any reason as to why.

As one of my sisters said, I was privileged to have a mother figure in my life well beyond the years of my own mother. Not only this but I lived in the same house as her. I think I did not really appreciate this before, but I do now.

The service was recorded and can be viewed on the Windsor Funerals website